Archetapestry : The Shadow

A MIRROR FOR THE SOUL

From the age I could read grownup books like textbooks and encyclopaedias, the first section I always looked up was Psychology. I think this is not abnormal for autistic children, who begin people-study early on, to figure out how to fit in, especially in neurotypical families or environments.

Early on, I became (and remain) especially fascinated by the theories and ideas of Carl Jung. His work resonated deeply with something I couldn’t quite name. From the age of 4, I catalogued behaviour—my own and others’ – as a survival strategy.

Intense feelings always bothered me, and as I got a little older I especially paid attention when someone got under my skin. I’d find myself wondering, “Why that person?” Why them, specifically? What was it about that person that triggered such a strong reaction in me? What behaviour or trait is it I dislike so much?

Much later, I found part of the answer in Jung’s concept of the shadow. (Strong dislike is obviously not only a result of the shadow, and can be trauma-related, or the fact that the person is just a dick!).

Jung described the shadow as the unconscious part of the psyche that contains everything we’ve rejected or disowned about ourselves. It’s made up of traits, impulses, and behaviors that our conscious ego has deemed unacceptable or incompatible with who we think we are. These can be negative qualities like arrogance, laziness, or aggression—but they can also be positive traits we’ve suppressed, such as ambition, sensuality, or creativity.

The shadow is personal, but also shaped by culture, upbringing, and what we had to repress in order to be accepted. When we push something into the unconscious, we don’t destroy it—we just lose conscious access to it. But it doesn’t go away. Instead, it shows up elsewhere—most commonly, in projection.

Projection is a whole subject on its own, but a very oversimplified description is when you find yourself reacting with intense irritation, judgment or dislike to the behaviour or personality traits of someone, which others don’t. in other words, more than the situation warrants. The reaction often feels immediate and visceral….you are triggered and you take your disowned traits, turn on the movie projector in your head and shine them onto this individual or set of individuals. In Jung’s theory, you are you’re unconsciously trying to face the hidden parts of yourself through others.

As Jung famously said in Psychological Reflections, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” In other words, the traits that provoke strong emotional reactions in us—especially aversion or moral outrage—are often mirrors, reflecting something we haven’t yet faced in ourselves.

This has been a transformative lens for me. When I find myself overly bothered by someone—beyond what the situation seems to warrant—I try to pause and ask: What am I seeing in them that I don’t want to see in myself? Without exception, t’s hard to accept, but this question has often pointed me toward aspects of my own psyche that I’d neglected, suppressed, or outright denied. Shadow-work has been amongst the most valuable I have ever done on myself.

THE GOLDEN SHADOW

The shadow isn’t just made of what we dislike. Jungians also describe what is called the golden shadow, represented by the gold in the centre of this figure. It refers to the positive qualities we see in others and admire—sometimes even idolise—but don’t recognize as part of our own potential. We might say things like, “I could never do that,” or “They’re just naturally gifted,” without realizing we’re projecting our disowned strengths onto them. This, too, is part of the shadow—just the side we’re more likely to long for, than to fear.

SHADOW-WORK AND INTEGRATION

As Jung wrote in Aion: Researches into the Phenomenology of the Self, “The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort.”

It takes honesty, self-reflection, and a willingness to see parts of ourselves that we’d rather keep hidden. In doing so, we begin to lead a fuller, more authentic life. We stop outsourcing our inner conflicts onto others. We stop idolizing people for qualities we already possess. We integrate the parts of ourselves we’ve cast aside.

Jung wasn’t talking about using shadow-work to attain perfection—he was talking about finding wholeness. The shadow is not something to banish, it is something to embrace, to examine closely, to come to recognise, know and accept. It’s where the energy is. It’s where the clues are. And it’s often where our power is hiding. Turn away at your peril.